Tugs on my Shirt

Spring Birthdays Take 2

2011-04-27T13:45:00.001-05:00

M3 around the azaleas

Yesterday we celebrated the birth of M3 and M4. It’s hard to believe that it has been twelve years since you guys came into our lives. Before I could even get used to the idea of having twins, you guys were born. Those first few weeks were quite rocky largely due to you guys arriving 3 months early, but also because we quickly went from 2 kids to 4. I barely caught my breath in those early days. Here at 12 years out, I can truly say it’s be a fantastic voyage. I am excited about watching you become men; yet I’m anxious about it at the same time. It seems like I was just teaching you to walk, talk, potty train.

M4 around the azaleas

With each passing day I learn more of who you are and you guys are getting to the stage where you talk less to me. So after all my complaining about the mundane…I now long to know about the mundane happenings of your days. Now we talk about more mature subjects like, your future aspirations, not judging a book by the cover, and why Daddy and I chose to educate you guys at home. Time has really flown by, I hope the next few years s-l-o-w down a bit. I’m not quite ready for the next leg of this journey…...the one where I’ll have to let you spread your wings and leave the nest….*heavy sigh*** tear,tear.

Seriously…….

2011-04-13T13:59:00.000-05:00

Why send a post partum woman a packet on PPD and urge her to call if she feels like she needs to; yet when she calls, the person answering the phone, Can “assure you that it’s all in your head.” Uhmmm yeah..right, I kinda knew that. That is why I called!!!! DUHHH!!!!!! This is more than “baby blues” lady. Something is really ROTTEN in Denmark. Or would you prefer that I call you back AFTER something crazy happens?Don’t pee on my tulips and tell me it’s raining. I’m just sayin’

Things I learned so far this year….

2011-04-11T13:15:00.000-05:00

Womanhood aint for sissies. I’d like to think that I‘ve gotten better with age. In many ways I have. But, I’m ~~afraid~~ ashamed to admit that after the birth of M8, I’ve learned lots of new things about myself.

1. I’m slowly becoming my Mother. (Which in and of itself is a call for MORE therapy)

2. I really have a give a ~~darn~~ damn attitude.

3. I really don’t care who knows about #2.

4. I’m at WAR with my teenage daughter and I see no cease fire…within the next 8 years or so.

5. Having 7 kids did not seem so bad, having 8 …well I might need to call in reinforcements

6. The skinny chick ..well that ship has sailed.

7. It’s ALL small stuff.

8. MUST E-X-C-E-R-C-I-S-E daiiilllyyy.

9. Need WATER…not COKE/Sweet Tea.

10. When nothing else seems to be ok, refer back to #1 and call the therapist to book 10 more sessions.

Ahhhh Spring

2011-04-09T01:20:00.001-05:00

The "friend" we found in the flower bed.. yes, it is was a copperhead

My flip flop lovin' feet are STOKED that Spring has arrived. We have been busy getting the homestead ready for the season by weeding flower beds, tilling, mixing manure and compost in the garden. Late last month the whole family went with me to conference in NOLA. Rah and the kids visited our favorite sites around the city. Sorry for the quality of the pics...we have a budding photographer who experimented quite a bit while we were away with his camera. The best thing about this excursion was my hubby FINALLY got why everyone needs a vacay every now and again. These few days away gave us a recharge and a much needed distraction from some things that are going on with my health.( more on that next post) Growing up my family always took 2 vacays a year, his family took "staycations" when he was a kid. Despite my suggestions over the years, he could not be convinced that everyone needs a change of scenery. Now, he totally gets it, Thank God! There will be a vacation this summer. YIPPEE!!

Daddy and the littles in a tree @ Audubon Park

Our own resident Steve Irwin wrestles the gator!!!

The older two take a stab at Gator nabbing!

The Whole Gang enjoyingthe Audubon Zoo

Happening around here...

2011-03-17T16:14:00.000-05:00

Baby Girl ponders the lens

Our 11 year old

Spring is peeking out around here!!!! YAY!!! That makes my heart and feet (which seem to prefer perpetual flip-flops ;-) happy! Over the past few weeks, we have celebrated the 11th birthday of our Y2K baby boy, the baby turned 2 months old and I went back to work. Whew!!! Some days, I barely can catch my breath. I have "written" several posts in my mind and when I sit down, and try to put pen to paper, it does'nt seem to come out right. KWIM??? But today I decided that I should just "free write" here. Stop comparing my blog to others I follow, and just be myself. Easier said than done. Have a Happy Thursday!!!

Some Inspiration

2011-01-18T14:20:00.001-06:00

Poetry is one of my favorite forms of writing. After scripture, it's my favorite type of literature to read. Recently a friend gave me a copy of Footprints of a Pilgrim, by Ruth Bell Graham and it has quickly become one of my favorites. The book is not just poetry, it's an auto biography of sorts of her life as a MK and preachers wife and mother. I have found myself in recent months struggling with my identity as a Mom and Christ follower. I feel so alone and and some days quite doubtful if I really am making the "right" decisions.
This piece of prose sums it up for me quite well. I hope you enjoy it as well.

For all these smallnesses

I thank You, Lord:

small children

and small needs;

small meals to cook,

small talk to heed,

and a small book

from which to read

small stories;

small hurts to heal,

small disappointments, too,

as real

as ours;

small glories

to discover

in bugs,

pebbles,

flowers.

When day is through

my mind is small,

my strength is gone;

and as I gather

each dear one

I pray, "Bless each

for Jesus sake----

such angels sleeping, imps awake!"

What wears me out

are little things:

angels minus

shining wings.

Forgive me Lord,

if I have whined---

it takes so much

to keep them shined;

yet each small rub

has it's reward,

for they have blessed me.

Thank you Lord.

-Ruth Bell Graham

Hey There.....

2011-01-18T13:44:00.000-06:00

It has been a loooonnnng time . Too long. I need to wish you guys a Happy Harvest, Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and last but not least, Happy New Year!!!! We have been busy around these parts getting ready for a few BIG events. No that the holidays are over, I feel like I can breathe again. And guess what...the little sticky bean that I told you about last spring is now here. We welcomed this little blessing to our family 12 days ago. I'll blog about the detlails of her delivery in the coming days....I hope ;0) . For now here she is.....
Meredith Grace Roberson 1/6/11 @ 3:25 p.m. 6 lbs 3oz 18"

I’m baaaack

2010-07-22T18:27:00.001-05:00

Please accept my deepest apologies for being gone so long. It has been a busy few months at my house. We’ ve learned a bunch, slept ALOT, been busy growing this little one, and tried to fly under the radar of all the naysayers .

The last few weeks have caused me to really evaluated my friendships and casual relationships that either need to be nurtured or just plain cut off. Over the course of our marriage, Rah and I have not formed many friendships for various reasons. Generally, I am a people person , but my hubby is not. He prefers the quiet solitude of home and the comfort of our immediate family. A few years ago, we decided to be more open to forming and developing friendships in our home school group and church. This worked out fine for a few years and we have become friends with some dynamic couples. Our children have formed great friendships and it has been great for all parties involved. However, over the past few weeks we have been met with some situations that have caused me to want to back out of some “friendships” and just be with my own family. Nothing major, just a difference in styles of parenting and general goals in successful child rearing. Pray for us. Pray that we will make a wise decision and maintain an nurture the essential relationships and sever ties with the toxic ones.

When to stand and when to hide…….

2010-05-17T21:37:00.001-05:00

"A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished."
Proverbs 22:3

Babies are so precious. They are gifts to us, little bits of heaven that find ways to soften our hearts, and then, if we are wise, we reciprocate and give them everything we have in return.
There is no such thing as a child who is a "mistake", no matter what the timing. Every baby born is a blessing, no matter if that baby dies prematurely or is somehow malformed. I can say these things because I am quite attached to my Heavenly Father, the Author and lover of all life, and He has indicated in multitudinous ways His attachment to mankind.

Some folks do not seem to have a great grasp on these truths. It is unfortunate that many of these people go to church with us and that most of the most vociferous ones are related to us.
So when we find out we are expecting a baby, we must be careful with whom we share the blessed news. I have become more and more sure of this as the years have passed and the babies have come.
Jesus said, "cast not your pearls before swine". This scripture is applicable here for me. My children are all precious pearls, ones so valuable they are worth losing everything for.
Some people are "swine" when it comes to appreciating them. Now, they may not realize just how their thinking is a deterioration of the good mind God gave them on the subject, but the outcome of their mindset is still devastating to me, and to the peace in my heart while I am carrying my beloved baby.
Words are powerful things, especially to a woman who is purposely being softened in her heart by God to give life through her body. It is not an easy thing to go through pregnancy, with the morning sickness, the swellings and sleeplessness and all the other unpleasant things--I am attempting to be honest here. So God gives to women all sorts of helps--emotional reasons that help a mother to overlook these physical trifles. There is a reason pregnant women tend to look more soft and vulnerable--it is because they are.
This is precisely why I do not allow certain people in my life while I am pregnant, nor do I force myself into every social situation or obligation. It is not just to protect myself, but the little person growing inside. Even if I am closely related to an individual, they do not automatically have open access to speak whatever they wish.
I believe our culture has forgotten just how protected pregnancy and childbearing should be--that just as the marriage bed should be a place of safety and privacy, so too should the whole process of bringing forth life. We have grown so callous about this time because we have degraded the act of love and made it a thing for billboards. I may be considered old-fashioned, but seeing someone's naked, swelled belly makes the whole process seem base, when it should be revered and placed in the highest regard.
Every once-in-a-while I receive a question on how or when to tell disapproving relatives, friends and church members that a child is expected, whether it be the first or the 12th. I am of the opinion that some folks don't need to know until it is too obvious to keep secret--sometimes even until after the child is born! Or, if there is no way around it, the announcement should be made with flourish, and that it is made perfectly clear that no critical remarks will be tolerated.
It also helps if the husband announces things without his wife in attendance, or answers the phone when certain people call. This has been such a blessing when my dear husband has done this for me.
But when we are expecting we should be careful never, never to allow the empty-headed opinions of others to change the wonder and excitement of the divine transfer we are undergoing. I have found that Spurgeon's commentary on the Psalms, especially for Psalm 127 and 128 are immensely helpful to counteract the fiery darts thrown during this special time.

( These are not my words, but the words of a sweet friend over at largefamilymothering.blogspot.com. I reposted them here because they deeply marked my sentiment today and in the past several weeks. This is my struggle as well. I was wonderfully comforted by knowing that I’m not the only one who feels this pain. I sometimes wonder how other Moms of many cope and get through this. She has beautifully expressed all I have tried to say on so many occasions. Thanks in advance ladyofvirtue!!!!!)

The Birthday Boys…

2010-04-29T11:22:00.002-05:00

Matthew David
4/26/1999
3 lbs. 1.6 oz 15" 8:12 a.m.
Mason Curtis
4/26/1999
2lbs. 13.4 oz 151/2" 8: 20 a.m

Eleven years ago this past Monday my twin boys were born. What a fantastic, fun filled and interesting journey parenting those guys has been. I’ll never forget the day we learned that you guys were two babies instead of one. We went in for a ultrasound to validate my due date of July 30,1999. The tech asked ,“ Ummmm, what kind of car do you guys drive?” Daddy and I looked at each other, thinking that this was a strange question to ponder at the OB Gyn office. I told her we drove a truck. She laughed hysterically and replied” You might want to get a minivan….you got two little ones in there”. “WHAT???” we both replied.
The first night home.....

Making mischeif under the crib...

Proudly displaying your toothless grins...

Matthew

Mason

That visit took place the last week of January. Little did we know that you guys would make your debut a very short while later. The morning you were born begin like any other day. We got up got made breakfast and got ready for work and school. That day easy special because it was Daddy’s 25th birthday. Though we did not have any really special plans, I was trying to make a special breakfast for him before work. That morning,although my back was aching pretty bad; I resisted the urge to lie down. Eventually, I gave up and cooking and decided to just buy breakfast instead. On the way to get breakfast , I began to feel the urge to go to the bathroom. I told Daddy I needed to go REAL bad. We agreed that I would wait till we got to the cafe and I’d use the restroom there. You guys had other ideas. At the next stop light , I told Daddy “ I can’t wait”. He laughed and ribbed me about the chips and salsa I ate at midnight the night before. I assured him that we were in a urgent situation. Before I could convince him I was in no mood for jokes, Matthew was beginning to slide out. We got to the hospital just in time for the Dr. to discover that Mason was breech and had to be delivered . Thankfully all was well with both of you despite being 3 months early. After a 6 weeks NICU stay , you were discharged and life has been non-stop ever since. In a span of 8 minutes, I we went from being a family of four to a family of six. And live has never been the same. You guys have blessed my life in immeasurable ways and teach me new things daily. I thank God for choosing me to be your Mom.

The ball has dropped…..well sort of…

2010-04-21T16:35:00.002-05:00

Well spring has sprung around these parts and we are singing and swinging and getting merry like summer. We have planted our garden, wrapping up our school year ,and getting ready for the next round of pigs we’ll raise this summer for the Sate Fair in the fall. So we are busy. To add just a wee bit more.... we are also pregnant….again. Though we have known for a few weeks we have been trying to keep the info under wraps for as long as my little sticky bun and my out of shape body will allow. We knew that soon SOMEONE would figure it out and the the ridicule would begin. I can’t even put into words some of the feelings other folks made me feel by some of their ~~hurtful~~ well intended…er advice. But, I digress, a friend…(well I thought she was my friend) exclaimed loudly “ I thought you guys..FIXED that problem”. Well news flash Sherlock…….. guess not! Some time this winter a new little one will help fill up our 12 passenger van.
If you have something positive to say….bring it on . If you have a negative nasty remark…keep it. I’ll try to keep you posted of some of the remarks we’ll hear as the news continues to leak…..meanwhile until I’m waddling with a watermelon in my gut let’s keep this between us. Shhhhhhhhh! ; 0 )

Our Spring Trip

2010-04-21T16:14:00.001-05:00

Earlier this month I attended a conference in New Orleans, LA . Since the conference fell during the week , and my hubs was off work, we loaded the entire family up for a road trip. While I was in session and fulfilling appointments during the day, my husband and kids toured the city. Here are some photo’s of their experience at The Audubon Aquarium. I’ll post these over a few days so you won’t be overloaded with picture heavy posts.

The

crew outside the hotel

Mocha Princess in a clam shell

Sea Life

Diva Darling

Caules and Mocha

Their favorite activity…feeding the stingrays

Birthday Season 2010

2010-04-19T18:42:00.001-05:00

I bet you’re wondering where I’ve been…..I we’ve been busy around these parts doing all sorts of things. March 7 marked the beginning of our household birthday season 2010. As you can well imagine, there is always a birthday being celebrated in our house of 9. ;0) It’s been my plan to highlight the birthday child on his or her special day. So…well. you know how that goes. What the saying???? Best laid plans of mice and men….any who. I’m here doing it now because I feel bad for not having done so already and also because next week our house will celebrate the births of the twins , my beloved, my grandmother, two aunt and moi. All that in three days…followed by my sister on May 3. But, enough of my rambling let’s get to the birthday boy. From birth sweet boy has been different. Not in the sense of having special needs, but having a knack for being gentle, patient, giving and loving. He truly would give you the shirt off his back this boy.

He was born 11 months after his twin brothers who were born three months prematurely. Though the twins are fine now, in the beginning they had a billion appointments and one twin seemed to always be crying. So as a baby, he spent a great deal of time being nurtured and loved by siblings and grandparents. Aside from nursing, he seemed to always be doing his own thing and patiently waiting. Waiting for his turn to nurse ( at the time I was nursing 4 of my own kids and wet nursing 1….in know…..CRAZZZZZYYYY )or be bathed or changed …etc. The key was patient. He always waited patiently. Fast forward a few years and his sweet patient spirit remains. I look at him know and wonder what happened to the time. He’s ten and focused on finding God’s will for his life. Today he was asking me if I thought it would be okay if he moved my oldest son ( who is autistic) to his house once he has established himself somewhere, so that his Dad and myself can travel to some places alone for a change. Sweet huh????

Choosing Joy…..

2010-02-25T11:36:00.001-06:00

Choose Joy. Several times over the last week I have heard this statement. Over the course of any given week, my life journey takes me down many roads. Long winding roads, straight roads , muddy roads , beautifully landscaped roads, and dark pot hole filled roads. Although, the scenery is different on each path, I am the same. Each road brings it’s own successes and failures. That being said, I have confession,I ~~think~~ know I‘ve been focusing to much attention on the failures . My own personal failures and those of my family. It’s an easy thing to do. In our world and culture it’s quite easy to find the negative and the cons to almost every issue/situation. You have to really work to find the positive points. Today, I want to a different journey. A journey that purposes to build hope, nurture dreams , and believe the impossible. Most importantly, a journey that CHOOSES JOY!

If I had my child to raise........

2010-02-25T05:11:00.002-06:00

If I had my child to raise...

"If I had my child to raise all over again I'd build self-esteem first, & the house later. I'd fingerpaint more, & point the finger less. I'd do less correcting & more connecting. I'd take my eyes off my watch, & watch with my eyes. I'd take more hikes & fly more kites. I'd stop playing serious, & seriously play. I wou...ld run through more fields & gaze at more stars. I'd do more hugging & less tugging" - Diane Loomans
The good news is....it's ~~not~~ never too late!! There is still time to correct mistakes and heal hurts. Just a thought.....

Our Southern Snow Day!!!!!!

2010-02-20T21:56:00.000-06:00

Very rarely do we get snow here in our neck of the woods. In fact, many winter seasons come and go without me ever REALLY unpacking and wearing all my favorite heavy coats, mittens, scarves, scully caps, and boots. Sooooo, when the forecast predicted a "wintry mix" a few weeks back, I disregarded it. Did not even bat an eye at making any real preparations for "wintry weather". What do those weather guys know anyway? And how often are they WRONG!!!!. Was I in for a surprise when I got up to let Bella (our cocker spaniel) out for a morning potty break. Without even thinking I opened the door and told her to "move,qucikly". Sensing her hesitation, and feeling that cold draft (brrrrrr), I peeked out to see this:

WOW!!!Serves me right huh? Having grown up playing in snow, it was a beautiful sight, but the last thing I wanted was to GO out to PLAY in it. Of course that's exactly what my little ones wanted to do. Even though it was only 7 am. After some coaxing ( hubs was on board with me) we all bundled up. Albeit in a rag tag fashion, 'cause of course we had no clue where our REAL winter gear was. Since winters here are usually pretty mild, all we had readily available was a few light jackets. On average,our lows are in the upper 40's and 50's on a really cold day. Here are some snap shots of us enjoying our southern snow sent straight to us from God! My three year old excitedly exclaimed " Mom, God sent us frosty kisses from Heaven!!". So to sum it all up.

Headed to Grandparents to play!

Our poorly atempt at a Snowman!

Our Snow Expense Chart:

$35 Take -out Pizza for Dinner Day # 1

$8 Spent at local Dollar Store to purchase Extra Mittens and Scullys

$ 14 Ready cut Wood for Fireplace

# of minutes wasted searching for elusive snow gear: 45

# of minutes to discover the little ones had outgrown their super cute snow boots: 20

2 1/2 Gorgeous, Super Fantastic snow days away from work&school with the family= PRICELESS

A few things about me....

2010-02-20T06:34:00.000-06:00

After the spirit of my last post, I think it's fair to set the record straight about who I am. So here goes.

1. I am a child of the Living God!!!! ( who is most grateful for his grace and mercy)
2. I'm on a muti-faceted journey to become a better Christ follower, Wife, Mom, student of scripture, homeschooler.
3. I want the best for my children.
4. I'm a Baptist who sometimes find it hard to let go of some of the tenets of my Methodist upbringing.
5. I LOVE my huband with every fiber of my being. Some days he is the very air I breathe.
6. I'm a Coca-Cola addict . Who does'nt want or need reform ; )
7. I struggle to find the skinny chick who once answered to my name.
To be continued.......

Critics......summed up.

2010-02-20T06:23:00.000-06:00

A fellow homeschool Mom contacted me this week to give me some "correction". She wanted me to know that she has been following me on here and that I was WAY off base as a blogger. She told me, I should tighten my ship up an turn on spell check, and to make sure that I always have, subject/verb agreement. I took her advice....I thought about it for over 4 hours....know what I came up with. BUZZZ OFF!!!!! Last time I checked, this was MY space. I spend my day molding the lives of 7 little souls and encouraging women to nurse their babies. While those pursuits are quite noble and bring me immeasurable joy; they each are only a fraction of who I really am. At the end of those actvities I need a place that is my own. A place where I can be me...unwind...let my hair down and just BE !!! This is that spot, for the time being. If you don't like it ...don't read it! And you know what really gets my goat about the whole thing. She has not come of of the "shadows" to follow me publicly. She just stalks and critiques and goes on and on about what I am not . All in the comfort of being anonymous. Well guess what I'm a be me. That's right...(I was told I should avoid cultural vernacular as well ; ) WTH??? And by the way, if you are looking for a well written blog in which grammar and puntuation rules are never ignored....this aint that spot. But I'm sure you knew that already.

Thoughtful Thursday......

2010-02-18T13:35:00.000-06:00

I'm blessed beyond measure. I know this. My dh knows this and anyone in our small circle knows this as well. However, it can be difficult (sometimes) to count those blessings and be always joyful in the most depressed circumstances of our culture . I suspect that I am like many other homeschooling Moms that I know. My deepest desire is to raise children who are socially aware, intelligent, well rounded, well read......and the list could go on forever. Lately, it seems that the exact opposite is lurking around nearly every bend in the long country dirt road of our lives. My children are learning and doing well academically, socially, and spritiually. I read the blogs of other home educating families and they apppear to be having educational experiences that are not much different from my own. Sure, we complete our assignments and most days we do it with ease and with measurable amounts of learning acheived. Then before we can shut our books and pack awy our matierals, I am struck with a thought. A gut wrenching thought born in recesses of my often cynical mind .I wonder and ponder if this is truly the path I was destined to travel. If by chance, I perhaps stumbled into someone else" wonderland" and one day I'll awake to a different path. Am I truly serving my children by walking this path, choosing this lifestyle?? I'd like to think so. On these days, I need my cirlce of fellow homeschooling Moms the most. I need their encouragement, silent smiles and nods of understanding. Women who not only understand, but also appreciate this journey/call/ conviction I feel compelled to fulfill by choosing to invest my time and talents in the future leaders of our culture.

Sunday...should spell peace, joy, and rest

2010-01-31T23:00:00.000-06:00

Sunday. The start of a new week, new opportunites to correct last weeks mistakes and a day spent reflecting on the goodness of my redeemer. If all this is true, why do my Sundays seem to come up sour. I've been thinking about this for quite a while and can't seem to come up with an answer. Although, I 've narrowed it down a few possibilites. It's gonna sound like I am beating a dead horse, but this is my avenue to get it off my chest. Once again I find myself frustrated with almost everything. Even though I promised myself that I would try harder this yell to reign in the emotions and set them aside when dealing with the kids, I am failing miserably at this task. The son that I mentioned in the last post struck again bright and early this morning ( presenting at the breakfast table dressed in his brothers discared attire from yesterday ) proudly exclaiming that he was ready for church. : ( I wanted to ask him have'nt we been thru this EVERY Sunday for the last four years? Instead I yelled at him in the meanest voice I could muster thru clenched teeth to find something else. Three hours later a quick trip to the grocery store turned into a 3 1/2 hr ordeal because the van would not start when I came out of the store. : ( Lastly my oldest daughter in a CONTINUED effort to fit in allowed a girl at church to write all over her arm and saw nothing wrong with it!!!!!!!! My first thought was "What the heck???" I wanted to tell her that she will never fit in and she might as well quit trying. That sometimes pre teen girls are catty, messy and should be avoided. Be independent and blaze your own trail. But instead of saying that I proceeded to yell at her how ignorant that was and that I have had enough. I can't even figure out what edict to lay down on that front so I ordered her to her room while I thought about it. Next Sunday , I''m gonna set out to find some peace, joy, and rest....well I'm gonna try too....AGAIN.

Struggles.....struggles

2010-01-27T22:35:00.000-06:00

It seems that I have fallen and ......I can't get up. I'm stuck somewhere between caring and not. Really, to be honest, I just want to just pack up a suitcase and head out. Surely everything that I am responsible for can rock on without me right??? I ~~hate~~ detest being woe is me...but feel like everyone is entitled to go there once a quarter so .....here goes.. I am so very sure that God must have me in the "permanently grounded" line. I find myself on my parenting journey questioning what went wrong. Did I take a wrong turn somewhere...miss a mile marker perhaps? Surley this tweenage girl in my home is a different speciaes than I. Never in a bajillion ( yes I made up a word) years would I have envisoned talking to my parents with the tone she uses so effortlessly. Was I ever this self-centered and self-asorbed???? Then moving on to the next issue that completely blows my mind.... I have a son whose sole mission in life is to not ever do ANYTHING well. for example, in lieu of selecting clean clothing to wear ( out of his drawers.)..he culls the soiled laundry that his brothers have discarded !!!!! He does'nt brush his teeth on any schedule and deodorant is merely considered optional. Did I really give birth to these people???? What happened????

Ohhhh, so not how I envisioned the weekend

2009-10-09T18:27:00.000-05:00

So I have two kids running fevers, two battling nausea and three who are looking kinda picky. I guess it's gonna be a LOOOOOOONNNNNGGG , long weekend. Have a great one everyone!

He knows my name.....

2009-10-04T15:41:00.000-05:00

He knows my name...what an AMAZING thought. Just when I was about to slide into a sick, dry, depressed state, I was reminded that though the world may say otherwise; my heavenly father is all knowing,all powerful and above all else ,ALMIGHTY. At the end of the day he knows and cares about me. Little old broken, struggling, imperfect me. And today, that thought has been enough to encourage me to keep pushing.

Awwwww. What else ?????

2009-09-22T19:38:00.000-05:00

So, my week gto off to a sucky start. : ( One of my twins boys decided (we still have not figured out WHY) to take a brick to the windows of our neighbors car. Not one window, not two windows, but three windows. Yep, you read that right. Three (3) count'em with me now 1,2,3; the front windshield, driver and passenger side windows. I completely fell apart when I saw the damage. Hopefully I can figure out how to post pics soon so you can share in my misery. After that, I'm afraid to face the rest of the week.

what's my deal????

2009-09-15T01:18:00.000-05:00

I feel like I'm living someone Else's life. I find myself wondering if I come off as a judgemental, self-absorbed, holier-than-thou, washed up Prom Queen who never really relinquished the sash and tiara. Goodness, I certainly hope not. Each day it seems that I am reminded not to compare myself to others , but to strive for a deeper, more committed relationship with the savior. And then ....it happens, someone will not so subtly tell me of some occurrence that surely points to said persons lack of salvation,they can't possibly be saved cause they listen to secular music, have tattoos, have different political affiliations,etc....and the LIST goes on and on and on for DAYS!!!!!! I want to yell from the rooftops , PEOPLE WAKE UP, IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU AND YOUR BELIEFS/VALUES!!!!! We as people/nation need to get back to reading the original rule book and employing those rules. not the ones we have learned, and tweaked to fit the culture of the day.

This Parenting Journey

2009-09-06T21:09:00.000-05:00

What a long, tear filled, strange, trip raising a "tweenage" girl is. I am SO convinced that it will be no small miracle for me to survive this journey with my sanity, hair and good working nerves. I have to remind myself almost every hour that I am not walking this walk alone. The Lord does not give you anymore more than you can bear right???? Sometimes I question this idea too. I was so not designed to be a girls mom. Since I 'm not a "girly-girl" , I often come up empty when it comes to relating to my girl who is now a converted tom boy. She used to ENJOY dirt and bugs and all things dirty. Now she is prim and proper and discovering that creature called BOYS!!!! Imagine my angst ; ) ! Yes, this will be a long , tear filled, strange, trip trip. I guess I have to just buckle up and hang on for the ride. : )

So Frustrated!!!!!

2009-08-23T17:34:00.000-05:00

Frustration seems to be the feeling of the month. It seems that I am met with that same nagging emotion at very turn. I must be swimming in circles that are too big, too different, too rich and the list goes on,and on and on. I'm having a real hard time connecting lately, Is this the sweet savior telling me to turn around and pull myself and the kids out of everything. I kid you not, I want to VOMIT a great deal lately. I just may blow my top if one more person tries to sway me to their side!!!!!!!! Just leave me be! I have plenty enough drama, and issues of my own. Please don't force your judgement upon me too! Recluse living sounds really good right now to me.

Another Late Sunday Morning

2009-08-16T12:07:00.000-05:00

I got up this morning thinking I totally had it all together.....only to find out this morning was going to be like most other Sunday mornings at our house. Wake up, tend to my personal needs, wake up kiddos and shuffle them along getting ready for church. Since church is a 30 to 45 min drive we need to leave home a full hour before Sunday school starts. At 9:15 I was still not dressed and looking for belts and shoes that were supposed to be found last night. So here I sit at the compute angry, and more that a little bit frustrated at my failed attempt to have the entire family ready and out the door on time AGAIN. Awww man, another crazzy day in the life of a large and somewhat disorganized family. Despite my best laid plans.